


Universe must have my back

by Drhair76



Series: the night is dark but the moon is bright [14]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Homophobic Language, Klaus literally just wants his skirts, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Protective Number Five, and diego is just a step behind him, but of course Five wants to fight, like hes always readyy, they just dont show it like normal people, they love each other okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-25 19:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drhair76/pseuds/Drhair76
Summary: Diego shot a quick glance at Five before turning his gaze back to the road. "You wanna explain what happened, or should I?"Five shook out his hand.  Apparently thirteen year old fists were not made for knocking out grown men.or, the one where Five punches people, Diego follows his lead and Klaus just wants his skirts.





	Universe must have my back

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: There is the use of homophobic slurs in this story.

"Pick anyone of them, they all look good." Five grumbled. 

Klaus, who was twirling and studying himself in the mirror, frowned. "Well I know they look good Five.  _I'm_  wearing them. But which one looks the best?" Diego sighed throwing a helpless look at Five. 

"If you can't pick one then we're leaving the store with nothing." Five threatened. They had been at the store for what felt like five hours to get Klaus some new clothes. Allison sent them because she was tired of never having anything in her closet. Diego and Five got stuck with him because Luther didn't trust him not to buy more than he needed.  Klaus deflated and turned to Diego with a pout. 

"Why are you letting him tell me what to do?"

Diego shrugged. "He drove here."

Five smiled triumphantly and made a shooing motion at Klaus. "Go on then, pick one and let's go." 

Klaus pursed his lips but turned and made his way back into the changing room, grumbling under his breath the whole time. Five stepped back as some other men walked out of their changing rooms holding pants and shirts and suits. They were talking amongst themselves and nothing interesting caught Five's attention until he heard it. 

"...Yeah, well at least we can finally get out of here. That little fag should be in the girl's section." 

Five looked up, immediately zeroing in on the man who said it. 

He was medium build, fit but not fit enough to match Five. He had two friends with him, one with an obvious beer belly and double chin and the other who was lithe, more like Klaus's build. Five could take them all down easily. He's done more with less likely chances before. 

"What did you say?" He asked, causing the man to spin around and fix him with a confused look. His group of friends stopped. 

"Uh- oh, hey little man." The man chuckled. "Nothing. I just said that your uh, friend in there should probably try on some pants."

Five's eyebrow twitched. Who the hell did this man think he was, talking like him and Five were sharing some secret joke? He could hear Diego shuffling to his feet.

  "Why?" Five snarled. "Because a dumbass like you is uncomfortable?"

 A bit of shock flickered over the man's face before he stepped forward menacingly. Five clenched his fists, ready to turn this piece of trash on his head but Diego's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

 "Is there a problem over here?" Diego asked flatly. Five could practically hear the clench of Diego's jaw. 

"Is this your kid?" The man flicked a hand at Five and Diego shifted.

"Yes." 

Five growled under his breath and made a mental note to punch Diego in the face later. 

"Well, he must not be very well educated." 

Right after he punches this guy in the dick. 

"And why is that?" Diego asked. His voice was still calm, but the hand that was tight on Five's shoulder told Five otherwise. 

"He obviously doesn't know the difference between a guy and a girl." The man chuckled condescendingly. Five was about to launch himself out of Diego's grip and at the man's face, when the changing room door opened. 

"I've decided to get them all." Klaus exclaimed with a flourish. He stopped short when he saw all the people standing outside the door. "Uh, what's going on here?"

Diego's grip on Five's shoulder slackened and that was all Five needed. The man's glare fixated on Klaus, and Five, who didn't particularly like people glaring at his brother (especially when it wasn't him doing the glaring), kneed the man in the crotch. 

The man doubled over in pain and Klaus made a sound of surprise and wisely took a step back. The skinnier man reached down to grab at Five's shirt but he warped behind him to kick the back of his kneecap. The man with the beer belly turned and took a swing at Five but he expertly ducked out of the way and was about to deliver a punch of his own when Diego beat him to the punch. 

Literally. 

The man who Five kneed in the balls stumbled to his feet and instead of turning on Five, he advanced towards Klaus with hatred in his eyes. 

Klaus made an alarmed sound as he ducked a punch. His skirts fell to the floor and he tried to back away. 

"Come 'ere fag." The man growled, catching Klaus' shirt. Klaus instinctively swung an arm, scratching the man across the face with his nails. 

The man cried out in pain, letting go of Klaus' shirt. Five warped in front of him protectively and punched the man in the nose just as he was looking up. Five grabbed Klaus' hand and pulled him out of the changing room. Diego had already knocked out the skinny man and beer belly man had a knife in his shirt, pinning him onto the wall. 

"Time to go." He huffed and Five pulled Klaus along behind him, despite really wanting to go back and do some more damage. 

They made it out of the store without incident and Five pushed Klaus into the car. Diego hopped into the drivers seat and hurriedly started the car and pulled away. 

There was a second of silence as they all caught their breath. 

"What the hell was that?" Klaus asked, still panting heavily. 

Diego shot a quick glance at Five before turning his gaze back to the road. "You wanna explain what happened, or should I?"

Five shook out his hand.  _Apparently_  thirteen year old fists were not made for knocking out grown men. 

"They were being dicks." Five grumbled out. 

"You don't just fight someone because they're dicks." Diego scoffed. 

"Fine. They were being homophobic dicks." Five corrected.

"Oh." Klaus was quiet for a moment. "You didn't have to fight them for me." 

Diego sighed and opened his mouth to  _again_ , for the fiftieth time, pound it into his brother's skull that he  _did_  indeed matter and  _no_ , they weren't just gonna let whoever say whatever the hell they wanted about him, when Five rolled his eyes and spoke up.  

"We would've fought them anyway." He huffed. "They called me uneducated."

Klaus hummed, seemingly okay with that response. There was another comfortable silence before Five jabbed at Diego's arm. 

"Ow!" Diego exclaimed, swerving slightly. "What the hell was that for?" 

"Calling me your son, I'm not your son." Five snapped.  Diego rolled his eyes and reached over to ruffle Five's hair. Five batted his hand away aggressively. 

"You guys know we're gonna have to go shopping again right?" Klaus asked suddenly. "'Cause I left all my skirts." 

Diego barked out a laugh. "Oh, that's rich. I'm never going shopping again in my life. You can go with Vanya next time."

Klaus turned to Five with a pleading look. 

"I'd rather go back and get punched in the face." Five said without missing a beat. 

Klaus pouted and unsurprisingly both Five and Diego were on the next shopping trip, dutifully watching Klaus try on clothes and simultaneously looking as menacing as possible to drive off any unwanted attention. 

**Author's Note:**

> gosh, it was really satisfying to write Klaus scratch that man across the face,,,,NE WAY I love protective Five and Diego like, perfection.


End file.
